Wonky's Land of Nonsensical Musings

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TWTW June 3rd Through the 9th: One Good Turn

In the ancient past, I got a free washer and dryer from friend of mine. I stopped using the washer because it had a leak. In truth the leak wasn’t that bad. It could be cleaned up with a couple of paper towels. I tried to fix it but I couldn’t get the washer apart because the screws had all rusted shut.

A friend of mine and her man just moved into their first house. Was in most cases, the house didn’t come with a washer and dryer. Most people gave them the advice to just go buy them on a credit card. They, being much smarter than me, want to start their lives with as little debt as possible. I overheard the conversation and offered them my old ones for free. I did fully disclose the leak. A few weeks later they showed up to take them. Her boyfriend is a giant of a man. His biceps were the size of my thighs. He managed to move the washer and dryer by himself (with the help of a hand truck).

Remember the story from a few weeks ago about me finding a frog in my ruined folding chair and throwing it, the chair, away. Well, a couple of days after the washer and dryer in bye bye, a neighbor stops me. He told me they were moving away and asked if I wanted their balcony furniture. I said ok and I now own some outdoor furniture.

This is my happy face Dad

Music Monday: Sunlounger feat. Suzie Del Vecchio – If You Were Here

TWTW May 27th through June 2nd: I Am Inspired By A Fat Boxer And A Hockey Team

Yeah this one is really late. I always knew what I wanted to blog about but for some reason never got around to it. So here it is.

As an overweight middle aged man who hasn’t really done much with his life, I look for inspiration. I found it in two places this week.

He’s the one on the left

Andy Ruiz Jr. doesn’t have the standard athlete physique. In fact he looks kinda like me with my shirt off. I have less tattoos; zero is less. He got an opportunity to fight for the title because the original guy couldn’t make it. Nobody gave Ruiz a chance and he knocked out the other fighter in the 7th round. This article has a couple more pictures.

The second inspiration comes from the St. Louis Blues hockey team. Being a Blackhawks fan I can’t really root for the Blues, but on Jan 3rd they had the worst record in the league. That’s about half way through the season and I’m about half way through my life. From that point forward they went on a tear and dominated. That’s my plan.. To totally win the last half of my life. I just need to figure out some way to do it that doesn’t involve any effort.

And Yes I did get a new phone. The first pic below is with the new phone. The other two take with the old one.

Music Monday: Keith Kennif Portraits pt2

TWTW May 20th through the 26th: My Phone Takes Desperate Measures To Leave Me

I should have realized my phone no longer wanted to be with me when it ran off in my friends car last week. After being back together for a week it decided on desperate measures to get away from me. As I walked down the sidewalk I put my phone back in my pocket. I felt it slide comfortably into its familiar spot. But it had other ideas. I heard a loud thud. My phone lay face down on the sidewalk. I thought it would be fine. I had dropped it before and it had a good case that had always protected it. I was wrong. The screen had several cracks radiating across it. My next twtw post will be about a new phone.

Music Monday: Shawn Mendes – In My Blood

TWTW May 13th through the 19th: Toads Fall From The Sky, And My Phone Goes Walkabout

Not Mine Mine was blue

For about four years I have had one of those fabric folding chairs folded up on my balcony. I may have sat in it twice. I had bought them 2 for 1 and for some reason just left that one outside to rot. I looked over at its sad self leaning against the corner of the balcony. The sun and weather had not been kind. The color was all faded and the fabric worn thin. I decided to put it out of its misery and throw it away. I unfolded it out of curiosity. As I expected it had a bunch of detritus in it. Old rotten leaves and twigs and some dead insect husks. What I didn’t expect was the dead toad body. How did a dead toad get up onto my second floor balcony? I thought. Then it hopped. How did a live toad get up to my second floor balcony? I thought. I came up with two possibilities. During a storm, the toad got picked up from the nearby retention pond and deposited on my balcony, or possibly it happened when it was a tadpole. There would have been water in the folded up chair. I released the toad into the wild and threw the chair away

My phone goes walkabout

I was hanging out with my friend at the bowling alley. The place was dead that night. When we left at ten we were the only costumers there. My friend drove me home. About a half hour later I decided I wanted to finish listening to a podcast on my phone. I grabbed my bluetooth headphones I had in my pocket and went for my phone. I couldn’t find my phone. My headphones couldn’t connect to the phone meaning it was’t near by. I knew I had it at the bowling alley. So either it was in my friends car or at the bowling alley. I walked over to the bowling alley. It was only eleven and they are supposed to stay open till midnight. When I got there the doors were locked. Instead of heading home I walked to the Buffalo Wild Wings hoping maybe my friend had gone for a late night snack and i could search his car. He wasn’t there when I got there. Distraught and phone less I went home.

The next morning I headed out to the bowling alley as soon as they opened. The guy who had been working the night shift was there. He hadn’t found any phone while he had been cleaning. I checked out everywhere the phone might have been but didn’t find it. I also did the bluetooth headphone trick but they never connected. On the way home On my way home I realized I had been stupid. I could just use a find my phone feature.

I googled, “find my phone”. It found it, told me it had 70% battery life, and it was sitting in a parking space outside a bar downtown. I assumed my buddies car must be parked there. I drove down there but his car wasn’t there. It was near lunchtime so I thought maybe he went somewhere so I went home. The find my phone thing still said the phone was in the exact same place. And it said it’s location had just been found. I waited for about an hour and kept checking. The location staid the same. I drove down there again. This time I slowly went down all the nearby side streets looking for his car. After not finding it again, I drove home. I checked the location exact same place.

I knew there was a bar up that way that my friend said he liked to stop in before heading home. So I drove up that way again. This time I parked and walked along all the side streets looking around trying to find the phone. I even brought the bluetooth headphones. No luck. I stopped into the bar the space was right in front of. Nobody had turned in or found a phone. I went around the corner to the bar my friend goes to. (kinda dive really). No phone.

When I got home I started to research new phones. I suddenly realized I had a way to contact my friend. Ali probably had my friends number in his phone. So I went down there and he did. I texted my friend and waited. He showed up a half hour later. A quick search of his car found the phone in between the seat and the center console. My baby was back. My friend admitted he had parked in that spot when he went to the dive bar. Why google kept insisting it was still there confused me. It kept telling me it was found just then right at that spot.

Music Monday: Gareth Emery & Ashley Wallbridge – Lionheart

TWTW May 6th through the 12th: Avengers Assemble

No spoilers ahead. Kinda a spoiler but I can now claim to the physique of Thor the god of thunder.

I finally managed to see Avengers Endgame. My super power is the ability to not have popular movies spoiled. I had no idea what to expect going in. I am glad I didn’t since it was very entertaining and not what I expected.

Music Monday: Monolink – Father Ocean

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