Wonky's Land of Nonsensical Musings

Category: twtw (page 1 of 2)

TWTW April 8th Through the 14th: I Get Really Old And It Snows

I remember being 25. Somehow I turned into a fat 46 year old man. Sadly not much of significance happened between the two.

It had been snowing way harder than this

Sunday April the 14th, it rained. Then ice fell from the sky. Then it snowed.. on APRIL THE 14TH!!!!

TWTW April 1st through the 7th: Jobu Is A Ferocious Hunter And I Ride A Bike And Wheeze

Not Actually My Current Bike

While cleaning I found something. It was stuck behind something half in a plastic bag. It looked fuzzy and kinda decayed. That’s when I realized it was a mouse. It was hard to recognize since it had been mauled. I assume back when we had the mouse problem this is another one Jobu took out. I bet he batted it under there. So Jobu’s lifelong death count stands at 3 mice and 3 Cicadas and 2 spiders.

With the weather finally feeling like spring I decided to pump up the tires on my bike and try and get some exercise. After years of mostly inactivity I am in horrible shape. I am quickly covered in sweat and gasping for air. Near the end of one of my rides two people in their 60s rode by me and cheerfully said Hello. My response.. WHEEeeezeee gaspe.. Helll haspe OOO wheeze. After I took a shower I needed a two hour nap to recover from the half hour ride.

TWTW March 25th through the 31st: Jobu Looks For A New Sleepy Spot And Geese fight

Jobu sleeps a lot. I mean A LOT. As he’s gotten older his sleepy time has increased. He has a very consistent sleep patter. He picks a main spot for most sleep and then takes little naps in every spot. The funny thing is at seasonal changes he picks a new main sleepy spot. So every 3 months or so he spends a week searching for his new spot. I’ll try up in the catch perch.. no I’ll try my original bed.. I’ll try daddy’s bed. He seems to have decided on his old old cat bed. I bought it for him the day after I adopted him from the shelter. It’s well used.

I was walking near the retention pond and there were geese in it as usual. There were a pair of geese huddled together. They looked like a couple. Suddenly another geese hoists his wings out of the water and gets all angry. He charges at one of the geese in the couple and they start fighting. They fight for about a minute and the loser sulked away. The funniest part about it was the other geese in the pond all lined up to watch. HONK HONK HONK HONK … FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT. It was like high school

TWTW March 18th through the 24th: Jobu Tries To Be A Ferocious Hunter

Two pigeons sat out on my balcony cooing. Jobu stared at them chittering. “Do you want to eat the pigeons? ” I asked him. He looked up at me with eager bloodlust in his eyes. I eased the screen door open, trying to make as little noise as possible. I expected the pigeons to fly away at any moment. They ignored me and seemed oblivious to horrible claw filled deaths they were seconds from experiencing.

With the screen door open enough for him to get through, Jobu entered full stealth mode. He got low to the ground and starting walking out onto the balcony placing each paw carefully so as to make no noise. Oddly he kept chittering the entire time. I am not sure how that fits into stealth mode. Jobu got two steps onto the porch and the pigeons flew off in a flash. Jobu looked up at me with sadness in his eyes.

TWTW March 11th Through the 17th: Sick and Tired

I spent most of the week still trying to get over my sickness.

TWTW March 4th Through The 10th: Worst Weekend Ever

It started Friday when I was at work. I kept sneezing and blowing my nose. I went through like half a box of kleenex. I felt fine so I assumed I had just gotten a little cold. About ten o’clock that night, I felt really tired so I went to bed really early for me. I knew I had a fever as soon as I woke up. I checked and it was 99.9F. Not terrible but enough to mean I was actually sick. I lay back down and slept to about eleven thirty. When I woke up I knew something was really wrong. I felt weak, and tired, and confused. I checked and my temp had gone up to 102.4.

I would be ok because the space clowns would come with the medicine :). About an hour later the fever broke and I bathed in my own sweat. I celebrated the fever being gone… only it wasn’t It came back, not as bad that night. My fever broke like four times over the weekend. I mean if you are going to have a fever either kill off the evil virus or stop with the fever. I slept about 14 hours on Saturday and almost that much on Sunday.

TWTW February the 25th through March 3rd: They Can’t Predict The Weather

They started out saying we were getting 1-3 inches of snow on Sunday. Then it went up to 2-4. I woke up Friday morning with a prediction of 4-8. By that evening it was back down to 2-4. Saturday morning it was 1-3. By Saturday night they said a dusting of snow. We got about an inch.

The one thing they did get right was the temperature. They predicted single digits and we got single digits. I sure hope/believe this will be the last of the single digit temps this year.

TWTW February 18th through the 24th: WINDY!

Saturday was unseasonably warm. I think it got up to 50. It rained most of the day but that didn’t stop me from enjoying the weather with long walks. I got up at 2 or 3 in the morning to go pee and I noticed that the building was trying to blow. It was very Windy. We are talking like 35 mph sustained winds with gusts up to 60. The wind lasted most of the day. Lots of things blew down. Luckily my power stayed on all the time.

I also got another solo victory royale in fortnite.

TWTW February 11th through the 18th: I Have Little Housemates

You are all familiar with my main housemate Jobu. But I have had another housemate for about a year. Harry the Hemiptera. He’s lived with me for about a year. I can always tell it’s Harry because at some point he lost a leg and crawls around on five legs. I didn’t see Harry for a while. I assumed the cold got him.

On Saturday I decided to finally clean up my computer desk. I pulled the desk out took everything off and cleaned the area. I came back in the room and standing on top of the blank desk was an Hemiptera. At first I got all excited Harry was back. On closer inspection he had all 6 legs. His antenna twitched at me. “What have you done to my home!?” He crawled back under the desk and I put everything back.

I few days later I saw my new housemate again. A couple of inches away was Harry. He’s still alive and hobbling around on his 5 legs.

TWTW February 4th through the 10th: Garage Broken

The only way into my garage is through the garage door. It has one of those keypad things with a battery that you punch the code into. The cover was frozen shut. I got a screwdriver and managed to force it open. The battery was dead. I had put in a new battery when I got the garage. 9 volt batteries always come in 2 so there has to be another one in the house somewhere. I couldn’t find one. So I tried using the key that unhooks the door from the motor so you can lift the door manually. I manage to get the key jammed into the lock in the middle of the door. At first it wouldn’t turn but eventually I get it to. But nothing happens.
At this point I am cold and my hands hurt from where I hurt my pinky opening the keypad. I decided to just call in and not come to work. I walked into my apartment and look up. I noticed the smoke detector. That will have a 9 volt battery in it. I used that.

Over the weekend I went home and made dogs very happy.

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