Pre-Trip Anxiety

At 6:30 am on Saturday I will be on a plane heading to Florida to get on a big boat and then spend 8 days doing as little as possible.   Yet over the last few days I haven’t been excited. I’ve been anxious. I’ve been  rundown agitated and unable to focus on things and having difficulty sleeping. I am not anxious about a specific thing.  I am not worrying about the plane flight, or getting sick on the ship. I just have a general sense of unease and of being unsettled.

I have been thinking back and I get this same feeling before trips. Whereas other people get more excited and count down how many sleeps until their trip starts I seem to be trying to make the time before pass as slowly as possible. I had the same feeling before Monaco in 2008 and London/Paris in 2012.  I loved both trips.  I am confused by this.  Could it be because of the list of things I have to do? If I was doing something big like going to live in Paris for six months I could understand but I have no idea why I have this reaction to going on a cruise and sitting in a deck chair. Does anybody else experiences this sort of thing?

On turning the big 4 0

Old Man Take A Look At My Life... (Sri Lanka)
From flickr user departing(YYZ) licensed under creative commons

Yes internets, today I turned forty years old. Somehow I never thought it would happen.  I remember being twenty five.   I remember being thirty seven.  Each time forty seemed so far away but here I am. I celebrated by dyeing the grey out of my hair and doing laundry.  My life is exciting.  What do I think about turning forty.  I don’t think this is how I imagined my life when I was forty.  But frankly I never have really had a plan or ambitions for my life.  My only ambition has been to be a writer. Which hasn’t   happened.  It’s a complete mystery to me as to why I am not a famous novelist.  Oh yeah I have never finished a novel.   

So I  spent today coming up with a “bucket list”.  Things I want to do and places I want to go.

So in no particular order:

  • Finish a novel
  • Live in a different town (I’ve been living in the same town since I was eighteen)
  • Live in another country (I am not sure how long it takes for it to be considered living in another country)
  • Write a piece of open source software that people actually use
  • Visit:
    • Iceland
    • Papua New Guinea/Borneo ( I joke that I think these place are fictitious and are just made up on maps)
    • Fiji
    • Galapagos Islands
    • Spain
    • Brazil
    • I want to go back to Paris and London
    • Poland (The Homeland )
    • Spain
    • Alaska

    Update: I forgot to mention that I broke my string of celebrating my birthday in another country. The streak ended at one year.