Wonky's Land of Nonsensical Musings

Month: May 2020

TWTW May 18th Through the 24th: Wonky’s Wild Kingdom

First, the cat came back. It was getting dark and I sat on the couch watching tv. I had the patio door open since it was a nice evening. I saw the cat walking across the patio and started meowing at him. He walked right up to the screen. He looked into the room trying to find the cat. He looked at me and got a suspicious look on his face. “You aren’t a cat,” it seemed to say. He turned and walked away. I watched him saunter over to the neighbors.

Saturday morning I went to the store and had put the groceries away. I looked out the screen door and noticed some movement to my right. The cat was in the elbow of a branch of a tree close to the house. It was trying to hide while also being all puffed up. Something had really scared it. My first thought was that I had scared it, but it wasn’t me. I looked and at the base of the tree was a coyote. It was a big beautiful creature with a wonderful coat, and it was looking right at me. My first thought was to take a picture and earn internet points. Then I realized the cat was only about three feet off the ground and the coyote could probably reach it. So without any thoughts to my own safety, or really any thoughts but “MUST SAVE KITTEH,” I flung the screen door open and stormed out yelling. The coyote took off down the hill. The cat jumped out of the tree and sprinted into the neighborhood. I went to the edge of the hill and yelled at the coyote some more until it slunk back beyond the stream at the base of the hill. Then a heard some noise and saw something bounding halfway up the hill. It was a young deer that was now trapped between me and the coyote. It kept looking between us. I tried to reason with the deer that it needed to be afraid of the coyote and not me. I went back inside and all the wildlife wandered away. I haven’t seen the cat, coyote, or deer since.

Not A Picture of My Coyote

TWTW May 11th through the 17th: I Turn Into A Disney Princess

Gots mad photoshop skills

I have had lots of furry visitors this week. First came the cat. He was a big dark grey short haired tabby. I think he was a stray. He just had that look about him. He wasn’t scraggly but had lean muscle visible under his fur. He had to be about 12 or thirteen pounds. I looked out the patio door Monday morning and there he was walking across the patio like he owned the place. I stepped out onto the patio behind him and started giving him my best meows. I ignored me completely and just walked into the neighbors yard. I will not be ignored by a cat. I yelled out “Hey Cat.” He turned saw me, and ran down the hill.

Next the chipmunk came back. We used to have a pair of them but this spring I’ve only seen the one and just in the last week. Maybe they got a divorce. I hope the kids are handling it ok. He hangs out by the patio door eating the bird feed on the ground. Whenever he sees me he runs off a few and looks back at me with suspicion in his little eyes. He seems to be asking me, “Are you going to eat me?” I try to reassure him that I am his friend. I bring him food and would never eat him. He then decides that I will eat him and runs away.

The rabbit came back.

Many birds visited. I am not really on my birds so I don’t know what they all were. Looking out I’d often see them eating the bird food off the ground or table. Why aren’t they eating it out of the bird feeder.

I look out one day and all I see is a squirrel butt sticking out of the top of the bird feeder. He had busted a hole in the thing and climbed in. He was having a grand time. I ran out there yelling at him and he jumped down knocking the bird feeder to the ground. The plastic had grown brittle after years sitting out in the sun so it just fell out. Now I put the bird feed on the ground.

TWTW April 27th through May 4th: I Get Ants In My Mail

I went to the mailbox and pulled the mail out. It was two days worth so there was quite a bit. My current mail routine is I set the mail on the counter for a few days and don’t touch it and I wash my hands afterwards. You know, in case the mail person was sneezing all over it. I get into the kitchen and as I walk by the sink I feel something crawling on my hand. I look down and there appear to by about a hundred tiny ants crawling all over my hand and half way up my arm. I toss the mail in the sink and start rubbing the ants off my arm and into the sink. The odd thing is the ants were only on one piece of mail and they were all over it. The other mail was ant free. I moved the ant free mail and proceeded to drown all the little ants. I felt kinda bad. There must have been something on that one envelope the ants loved.

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