Wonky's Land of Nonsensical Musings

Month: February 2019

TWTW February 18th through the 24th: WINDY!

Saturday was unseasonably warm. I think it got up to 50. It rained most of the day but that didn’t stop me from enjoying the weather with long walks. I got up at 2 or 3 in the morning to go pee and I noticed that the building was trying to blow. It was very Windy. We are talking like 35 mph sustained winds with gusts up to 60. The wind lasted most of the day. Lots of things blew down. Luckily my power stayed on all the time.

I also got another solo victory royale in fortnite.

TWTW February 11th through the 18th: I Have Little Housemates

You are all familiar with my main housemate Jobu. But I have had another housemate for about a year. Harry the Hemiptera. He’s lived with me for about a year. I can always tell it’s Harry because at some point he lost a leg and crawls around on five legs. I didn’t see Harry for a while. I assumed the cold got him.

On Saturday I decided to finally clean up my computer desk. I pulled the desk out took everything off and cleaned the area. I came back in the room and standing on top of the blank desk was an Hemiptera. At first I got all excited Harry was back. On closer inspection he had all 6 legs. His antenna twitched at me. “What have you done to my home!?” He crawled back under the desk and I put everything back.

I few days later I saw my new housemate again. A couple of inches away was Harry. He’s still alive and hobbling around on his 5 legs.

TWTW February 4th through the 10th: Garage Broken

The only way into my garage is through the garage door. It has one of those keypad things with a battery that you punch the code into. The cover was frozen shut. I got a screwdriver and managed to force it open. The battery was dead. I had put in a new battery when I got the garage. 9 volt batteries always come in 2 so there has to be another one in the house somewhere. I couldn’t find one. So I tried using the key that unhooks the door from the motor so you can lift the door manually. I manage to get the key jammed into the lock in the middle of the door. At first it wouldn’t turn but eventually I get it to. But nothing happens.
At this point I am cold and my hands hurt from where I hurt my pinky opening the keypad. I decided to just call in and not come to work. I walked into my apartment and look up. I noticed the smoke detector. That will have a 9 volt battery in it. I used that.

Over the weekend I went home and made dogs very happy.

TWTW January 28th through February 2nd: Attack Of The Polar Vortex

SOOOO COLD. If you are reading this in the distant future, know that in the middle of this week a polar vortex descended on the midwest. I am pretty sure that Wednesday was the coldest I have ever experienced. Jobu and I were staying snugly and warm in the apartment. I did decide I should at least experience the supper cold a little bit. So I bundled up and went to throw out the garbage and check the mail. It didn’t actually seem that cold. I mean not much colder than when I had been out when it was about 40 degrees cooler. I had to take off my glove to get my key into the mailbox. My hand didn’t freeze off. About a minute after I got back inside my hand started feeling all warm like my body was trying to warm it back up. 

My coworker came up with a plausible theory. We are only capable of sensing about 0 degrees F so anything below that just feels like 0.  It’s like how my cheese making thermometer only goes up to like 150, anything above that just registers as 150. 

It warmed up a lot by the end of the week and everything got Foggy.


The cold killed my car. Even though it was warmer on Thursday it wouldn’t start. Then it wouldn’t start on Saturday. Looks like the battery is old.

The superb owl was boring. I made some pretty good smokey wings though.

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