I found this in my drafts. I wonder how long ago I first typed it up. I have vague memories of doing so. I obviously, never posted it. I don’t know why. It was mostly finished.
The Throw Away Year
When you get my age you probably shouldn’t just throw away an entire year, but I did. What do I mean by a throwaway year? It’s a year in which I didn’t further any of my goals, in fact, I regressed in them. It was a year I lost focus and direction.
I’ve tried to figure out why the year ended up the way it did. I need to make sure it doesn’t happen again.
Early in the year, my Uncle died. Over the Thanksgiving break my Grandfather, a man I loved and respected, died.
This is going to sound weird, but time was never right this year. Especially after my Grandpa died. Days didn’t happen they just went away.
I was constantly doing things but nothing was every accomplished. I didn’t get enough sleep and was constantly tired. I seemed to always be busy but nothing was finished. I reminded of the line from Max Payne 3, “Time moves forward, and nothing changes.” And yet everything changed.
Everything sounds like an excuse. Everything is an excuse.